Though our son is still in the womb, he has had a great impact on my life already and I thought I would share something with you. My son has given me a glimpse into the mysteries of God, if only for a brief, though solid, moment. When I contemplate the life inside my wife, I marvel at the miracles and wonders of God. How can He give us such a gift? How can He assume I will not break him? Yep, I think that question. Then I remember things like, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” Romans 3.23. This includes me, you and my son. He is already broken.
Then the thought comes to my mind, “How can You trust me with a life? Only You can save!” And for a moment I despair at the thought of rearing a child in a broken world filled with broken people as I ponder my own brokenness. But God is good. “And Jesus said to him, ‘Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone'” Mark 10.18. If God is good, and only He opens and closes the womb, then He must see that giving us a son is a good thing for my wife, for me, and for our son.
Think of this for a moment. Souls are everlasting. There is an everlasting soul in my wife’s womb, because God has blessed our marriage with such a gift. How beautiful are the mercies and mysteries of God! God has decreed it good that Erin and I rear a son. I do not understand it, but I am entirely humbled by the gravity of it.
I was also thinking about those without children, and those who desire to have children but cannot. This of course does not mean God is not blessing you. This of course does mean God is blessing you in some other manner. I repeat: God is good. God is sovereign. God’s sovereignty is good. If you cannot conceive, you may be upset, depressed, and a little bitter, but know this: God has sovereignly decided this season in your life and nothing you do can change His decree. God sees it good and right that you not bear a child now. Why? I do not know. Maybe there are plenty of everlasting souls running this earth without a loving mother and father. Maybe these little lost everlasting souls need you to feed them, love them, and show them Jesus Christ and his Gospel. Never cease your prayer life. God’s timing, though frustrating to our sinful hearts, is for our good and His glory. Read this book Is God Really in Control?
Having a son has taught me that God is much bigger than I previously could understand.
Having a son has taught me that God is merciful and full of blessing.
Having a son has humbled me in the realization that I cannot do a single thing separate from His will.
Having a son has shown me the true atrocity of abortion.
Having a son has shown me that I need to throw all of myself upon His mercies with continual prayer.
Having a son has taught me that I cannot save anyone, only God saves.